I know I’m not old, but in a sense I am an old dog that can’t learn new tricks. By this point in my life… I am what I am. But some things I don’t like to be so how do you change who you are when you are at a certain point in your life. For me, the things I want to change are personality changing to the deepest core. I am overall a very negative person, I think the worst of people and situations, and I often complain about them. I also tend to have a hard time letting things go, so I remain angry about things for days when they really aren’t a huge deal, and I tend to bring them back up.
This whole thing stems from some harsh days I’ve been having with my roommate of late. It seems nearly every time we speak to each other we get angry at each other. Either because I feel like she is always harping on me about how I’m so horrible at whatever I do. She doesn’t really see what she’s doing and I usually come back with some snide remark about something wrong with her and we end up angry. It is either that or some form of miscommunication that frustrates one of us or both of us.
So how do I change this in particular? I value her friendship with me quite a bit. When we met she was a kind person, nice in every way, she was smart, we could talk to each other, and she had a positive attitude about everything. She was an opposite, yes but in a lot of ways we did balance each other out fairly well (though she’s always been a little overzealous about life and that has been a constant issue with me). But then life occurred, and she’s become bitter and this has not meshed well with my own bitterness. But in the end, it really isn’t up to her to change, she needs to come to her own issues on her own time and hopefully it will be soon and she can return at least in some form to the person she used to be.
But now, the issue is how do I deal with my own stuff? If one of us could become more straight and narrow, then it’ll help our relationship out as a whole. I decided that perhaps one thing we could do is just spend a little more time a part. I am going to try to take my daughter to my mom’s for a couple nights this weekend to help that. But overall, I just got to let things go a little bit. I got to be nicer, but how. I’ve been overly nice. I’ve never been overly forgetful. How do you forgive, if it isn’t something you’ve ever really done?