A New Me

Yesterday, I ran into an old friend that I used to work with at the local garden center and meeting up with this guy did a couple of things. First, it scared the living shit out of me. It reminded me of where I used to be (when we worked together), where I am now (unemployed) and where I might be going (employed somewhere new) and every single facet of this scared me. It was like being reminded of how much I enjoyed where I was and how scary the unknown of the future is all in one sitting.

But the more important thing that I got out of it is who am I? This guy always was someone I aspired to be. I saw a bit of myself in him, but a better version of me. Someone who I wanted to be. He was optimistic version, the outgoing version, the nicer version. He was who I want to be but can never figure out how to get there. A good example of who this guy is…. he once got tickets to go see Miley Cyrus in St. Louis, kind of on a whim. Not because he liked Miley Cyrus but more because he was getting sick of Madison (it was winter) and wanted to do something, anything likely. And largely because it would be a story that you could tell later. It is interesting. And that’s who he is. I worked with him maybe 6 months and during that time got a lot of similar stories out of him similar to that and was even part of a couple. He always wanted to do stuff and to make the most out of life, and yes that is something I aspire to as well.

And here I am, what am I doing? I have here an opportunity with my unemployment that honestly I have always wanted. And in this opportunity I have done a lot of gaming, something I do very much enjoy. But is that really what I wanted? Well kind of lol. You hear all the time of people getting laid off and making the most out of that chance, to advance their own personal interests and become a better person in life and I don’t entirely feel like I am doing that right now.

To tie in with this essence of how I am currently feeling… a few years ago I also got similarly inspired by a kickstarter of all things. There was a guy who had previously done a TED talk who was wanting to develop software that could take his TED idea into reality. The idea is to take a 1 second video every day of your life. Be that 1 thing good or bad or somewhere in between. Just take something to remember. And he found in doing that, that he made more of an effort to go out and do things to take that video clip for. If you want more on the idea, you should watch his TED talk, it is pretty cool. I backed the project, loved the idea. And when I got the software, I did it for a couple months (on and off) before I dropped off of it.

Back to this chance meeting with an old acquaintance and I had an epiphany. I need to wake up my  life and start doing new things with it. And to force myself to do these new things I need to record it 1 second style. So my concept is that every single day I think and do something new. Anything. Anything at all. New habit, New movie that I hadn’t seen before, New food I hadn’t eaten before, new TV show, new game, new page written, new schedule, new skill, new language, new project, new job interview, new job, new friend, new attitude, new word, new something. I gotta push myself forward and make myself better. And hopefully I can do it.

Honestly, I can’t even promise myself that I can do something new every day. I certainly can’t do something grand every day. I mean think of it. 365 new things done every single year. I have some things in mind. But there will be days where I will be sick and sleeping all day. What will I find new that day? New cough medicine? Lol. I imagine that things will vary. Some day I will have a big fun event like seeing Miley Cyrus for no reason other than to do it, some days will be going on a walk on a new trail that I had never ventured before. Today, my new thing is starting this idea. An introduction to what may come. It is small, but huge all at the same time. And maybe that is the beauty of it.